Happiness is real. It’s something fun and exciting and pretty much terrifying. It’s something all of us will periodically forget about time and time again. And it’s something easy to mistake for a sense of love and care. We all have our own personal definition of happiness. So, I ask you to think about it. To actually sit and think to yourself what happiness really is to you. Whether or not your current situation, your current environment and your present emotions fit into that definition of yours. Without any hesitation, answer yourself honestly. It’s only you. At this current moment in time, are you truly happy?
It’s too often that the line between being content and being happy are blurred. Being content isn’t necessarily a bad thing either – as long as it isn’t settling. There’s nothing worse than accepting your current position in life and just getting on with it. You can love someone and not be happy. You can enjoy a movie and not be happy. You can have a well deserved lazy day in bed and not be happy. Never settle. If there’s something that brings you down then do your best to change that. You matter, too. I cannot stress enough that you, as an individual, need the same amount of time spent on you as you spend on other people. Don’t let yourself fall.
After so long of burying myself underground where I couldn’t get anymore hurt than what I was, I finally got myself back into the big scary world that I was adamant was going to bring me down no matter what. A flurry of anxiety attacks, highs and plummeting lows, I managed to capture something that reminded me what it was like to be happy. A real happy. It’s common knowledge that I allowed myself to be consumed by four identical walls that only ever mocked me and my thought process, but whether this happiness is temporary or for the long run, I’m finally able to say that hey, I need to be okay if I want to make it. I’ve been the witness to too many people drowning in their oceans of pain. I’m close, too, but through writing, through tears and through my own coping methods, I’ve realised that I need help and maybe now I’ve finally gotten it.
This is not, and will not be, a story in which I find someone that saves me. Saving me would mean slaying a dragon, climbing a huge set of stairs just to realise that I’m not all that great and you actually prefered the dragon to me. I’m not being saved, but I’m being guided. Guided back into the world little by little while my stone path is being illuminated. The worlds a scary place, and its okay to need help. Accepting the help might just be the best thing that’s happened to you. Who knows what I would have given up if I never made the initial effort?
Your happiness is yours. It doesn’t come from the depths of someone else, but having someone remind you of that happiness, to guide you to a throne made especially for you is most certainly helpful.