Loneliness isn’t the problem, but finding the right help is.

Despite the rising awareness of mental health conditions, they are still disregarded and swept under the rug more times than not. There are still people wondering what to do and who to turn to when all else has failed – and failing can be a part of the end problem that’s ultimately tearing you up. No person should be expected – or belittled – for opening up to their emotions and feelings and admitting what’s really going on. Admitting to what feels like a weakness is already a difficult task, and admitting that weakness out loud shouldn’t feel like a joke. A person shouldn’t be made to feel ridiculous, dramatic, hopeless and they should not be made to feel alone. A person goes through an abundance of stages and emotions before they finally pluck up the courage to talk about it – so why should they feel that in the end, it was the worst idea they could have done?

There’s the exaggerated happiness, the forcing yourself and others around you to believe that happy and fine. The indecisive motivation telling you that you need to get up and do something, but you could wait a day or two to get that done. Locking yourself away at certain times just because it all gets too much and therefore snapping when someone tries to invade your space. The easily irritated, pushing the best of people in your life away. Dealing with it in your own way, writing to a blank piece of paper that cannot talk, that will soak up the sink and leave you yet again stranded in your own mind. Seeing friends but feeling guilty when you feel more of a downer than a bundle of joy. You get the point, a person has to deal with a lot of things before they finally open their mouth as a plea for help and being shut down at the end of it – to be disregarded as if a family had just reconsidered their decision to adopt a puppy. It’s only confirming what they already thought; that they have to go through this alone otherwise they deal with the consequences of being looked down upon, to be told that they’re over dramatic. It doesn’t just stop because it was an inconvenience for someone, we’ll just go back to pretending that we’re okay just so they can’t get ridiculed again.

People feel this way for different reasons, and it’s unfair to be judged about your own situation compared to someone else’s. Oh, I see, you’ve been through worse, so that’s why I cannot feel the way I do and ask for your help because you deem me unworthy of such compassion? Well shucks, here’s a medal and a one-way ticket to “Get-So-Far-Away-From-Me.” It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling the way you do because you’ve had a string of unfortunate events happen to you throughout your life or if you’re recently going through a rough patch, you are entitled to feel the way you do and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

There are still too many of us finding the way out in all the wrong places. Loneliness isn’t the problem, but finding the right help is.

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“You were high definition, now you’re barely 720!”

Nothing beats a title than referencing McBusted.

If you’ve listened to the mighty McBusted’s album, you will know the song “Before you knew me.” If not, you can click here and listen to it yourself, you might even like it! It’s catchy and it’s sort of relatable to those in a long-term relationship. Why? Because people do change when they get themselves into a relationship and spend so much time in the company of others. Don’t get me wrong, they will still be themselves as an individual, but they will mold into someone new. As a person in a long-term relationship, I can confirm that myself and my loving boyfriend have changed and become new people that have more in common than we initially did. It’s not a bad thing unless there’s some serious changes that turns you into some complete psychopath who’s the female version of your boyfriend, but it’s more likely a good thing, allowing both parties of the relationship to connect on different levels whilst doing the things they love and communicating in some kind of secret code.

Think of it this way, you start talking to a new person. They know nothing about you, and you don’t know anything about them. They’re a blank canvas in your world as you are to them, but the more you talk the more you get to know what they like, what they dislike, they’re favourite music and films and their personality in general. You’re canvas begins filling up and up and up by the day. You start to hang out with them, you spend time in their company doing things they love and you think to yourself “Hey, this is quite fun actually!” and now you’re enjoying the same things that they do and vise versa. Time goes on and you may put more time into this specific activity, and then it becomes a personal enjoyment that you can do when you’re not around your love interest. You start to talk about it, research it, take part in it. You’re expanding and the paint on your canvas intertwines with theirs. It’s natural and it happens.

It doesn’t stop there. I’ve previously stated the way little things can make an impression on other people too, such as words. Personally, I never used to swear unless highly intoxicated and really, really annoyed. Even then, it was in the company of those who would not judge me for it, but now, I’m like a walking profanity. I even enjoy Super Smash Bros Wii U and I’ve gone as far as raging each time Bowser Jr. jumps out of his exploding cart and catches me out, resulting in the imminent final smash on poor little Pikachu.

People think of change as a bad thing, especially in a relationship when in reality it’s nothing more than a person expanding and growing. There will come some times when arguments will arise, but that happens in all relationships whether there’s nothing in common or a lot. People piss people off, that’s life. There may also be a situation in which you watch a person become someone you hardly know, and that’s the change that can affect things because it’s like thinking you picked the best kind of apple and finding out it’s a parsnip. But that’s where people tend to place blame on someone for changing so much when in reality it’s not something you can just stop. Change will happen, and there should be no blame placed on the other for changing. They’ve just grown into something new, and that would inevitably happen whether it was in the next week or the next five years.

Relationships are ever-changing, and that’s what people need to understand and respect. No-one will ever stay as that lovely and sweet girl you met, or that charming and romantic man that you first met, because once you break the barrier into getting to know them and they know you, they become comfortable in letting you see other sides of them – the good and the bad sides that include endless laughter, crying into your blanket at 3a.m. and stuffing your face full of chocolate and having brown teeth. They see every side there is, and a person in a long-term relationship should definitely have an understanding about this, and be accepting of these different aspects.

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