5 ways to motivate writing through procrastinating.

It’s no doubt that there are a lot of people in this world that enjoy the practise of writing. Journals, creative or even reality – writing comes in many ways and it’s always fun to explore the different ways to go about exploring your passion of writing. I’ve loved writing ever since I was little. I dreamed of being an author, then I wanted to be a journalist, and now, all I want to do is just write. But, it goes without saying that even the best writers get writers block. It’s horrible and it easily chips away at the pleasure of writing. I’m in my third year of a creative writing degree, and I’ve felt the pressures of writers block too many times. And, well, procrastination has actually been my best friend in those difficult times. These are five ways of procrastination in the most wonderful way that has helped me on my writing endeavors:

 

  • 1. Watch a film, documentary, tv series

Like I said, procrastination. But some of my favourite ideas have come from watching something. It’s best to find something related to your writing – if you’re writing about crime, then watch a crime documentary. If you’re writing fantasy, watch something sci-fi and fantasy related. Side note: it’s always easier when watching something new. That way, there’s something that will grip your attention, whether it be a character, the scenery or even a new language. Besides, it’s always fun watching a new film and expands your horizons in both ways.

  • 2. Listen to an entirely new band, artist or album.

Just like the last one, it’s always easier listening to a new band, artist or album rather than your favourites. Only because, we both know, that when your favourite comes on you’ll be screaming each word at the top of your lungs. With something you’ve never listened to before (whether it be a new album or an entirely new genre) then you’re listening to new sounds, new words and getting an entirely new emotional experience. Music can also help explore the mood of your writing. If your soundtrack is happy, then your words are going to be more upbeat and the reader will feel it. This does also depend on your mindset at the time too.

  • 3. Read other blogs.

This is for more than just creative writing. I know just how hard it can be to come up with new content for your readers. (Hello, by the way!) When you are forcing yourself to write, then it stops flowing and it’s easy to tell when someone is bored. AND it’s easy for it to happen, even to creative writers. Unfortunately for those wanting to make something of themselves in the writing world, the majority of media and journalists cover what people want to read. For those without up-to-date and unknown press releases that’s going to get us out there in the big wide world, we have to depend on making our own interesting content. Other blogs can be very helpful of this, especially those that are starting to break out into the bigger world. It’s an easy way to find out what people are reading and what people are writing and even a way to inspire yourself. For most around my age, it’s make-up and fashion, and I’m terrible at both. But by reaching out to other blogs and exploring further into the blogiverse, there’s still hope for me. People. Freakin’. Love. Lists. Hence this post!

prompts

  • 4. Reddit writing prompts

Reddit is an interesting place, and recently my favourite place when I’m all out of ideas. Sometimes, it’s a lack of creativity rather than writers block. Especially in university when there’s a thousand other assignments to be done, my mind finds it increasingly difficult to keep coming up with fresh, new ideas. That’s where I’ve been using Reddit. It’s helped spark some minor ideas, but it’s also sparked my major ones. There’s some silly and fun prompts, but then there’s also the ones that will get you writing for days on end if you can actually get behind it.Not to mention, there’s a thousand other pieces, written by real people to read too, and that sparks creativity enough. Click here to be taken to the page and see what you can find!

  • 5. Take time away from writing.

If my tutor read this, he’d be reeling in his seat. But it’s true. This is my final year in university, and I’m doing a creative course that I should be writing for 90% of the time. But I don’t and I don’t plan to. Why? Because if I forced myself to write a section every day then it would be forced. The last emotion I want to feel when writing something I should be passionate about. Like I said, my final year means this should round up my best writing pieces, and if I hand in something that has boring sections, then whoever ends up grading it will be like “well, shit, she doesn’t really want to be writing this, does she?” I’ve spent most of this year away from my laptop, and that’s no word of a lie. Hell, the most I’ve spent on a computer is the time I’ve been bored out of my mind on a four hour uni break, and all I’ve done is watch YouTube videos. Not writing 100% of the time doesn’t make you a bad writer, keep that in mind. Your own exploration can be your biggest inspiration.

Lifestyle

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

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Everything has changed. I’m an entirely different person to what I was a year ago; to what I was when I first entered 2016. The story’s the same, the face is the same but everything feels different. I’ve always strived for some sort of happiness, to feel something more than numb. But what this year has shown me is no matter what, happiness is not a destination, but a journey. And perhaps a neverending journey, but with every piece of progress, with every ounce of confidence that I gain, I know I’m closer to what once felt impossible. I’m getting there and it sure feels good.

There’s a thousand things I want to do and I want to change, but for everything I’ve ever gone through, for ever decision I’ve ever made, I’m so glad that I’m here right now. There are days when all I want is to not exist, and those days of feeling nothing are still going to be a part of my life. But recently, those days have lessened and I’m reminded that there’s more to life than what it is right now. I got the chance to travel to Germany, to experience something amazing with the best people I could. I’ve got to write and write and write to my hearts content. At first, I thought that what I was doing in the present would be what I would end up doing forever, and I lost so much motivation because I could never see myself any different than a deadbeat. And whilst I still may not make it in a world where there are so many other talented people; where I can easily be brushed under the carpet and forgotten about, I might just have fun trying. I might be working a minimum-wage bar job with long hours with headaches that hurt the back of my eyes, but these eyes have so much more to see. So much more to appreciate.

Positivity doesn’t come to me that often. Especially not the type where I want to write it and show it because I know soon enough I’ll want to write how I want the earth to swallow me up. Some things won’t change, but the way you handle each situation and each downfall will get better. Everyone is fighting their own battle, but we fight it side by side.

Peace, xoalaskaar.

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Words don’t help my head

Writing. Putting words next to each other, hoping it makes sense to those who read it. Stick some punctuation in there and watch it all come together. Why doesn’t my head feel like it is together? I can write endless amounts of words and I can write none. Nothing I ever do will help me gather up these thoughts.

I’ve changed. Things are better. Life is better. Life is bad. Nothing changes. These thoughts that I once trailed away from and left on a dirt road have hitch-hiked it’s way back into my head. It hurts. I ache. No matter how much sense of it I want to make, I can’t. My head pounds endlessly, my arms and hands ache. I exist and sometimes I exist happily but there’s moments when I don’t want to. I left behind anti-depressants and started a journey towards happiness, I’ve reached that happiness in many ways, but here I am. Just existing. Things go wrong, people throw what I’ve tried so hard to leave behind back in my face and I’m back at step one. It triggers a lot of emotions I don’t want to feel. It triggers a numbness. It triggers a lack of care. It hurts.

Sometimes I think that it would be better if I wasn’t around. Sometimes I think that selfishly, I want to be around to feel the happiness that people give me. My boyfriend. Sweet and lovely and unselfish. Inspiration to be a better person. My friends; lively and happy and no looming thunder clouds. My brother. Perfect in every single way. I want to be a better person. It doesn’t make sense. Constantly bad and constantly hidden. Sometimes it would be better if I wasn’t around.

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Right and Wrong, yes or no?

Dear Diary, I cannot fathom my own thoughts. No amount of time has helped me progress the understanding of the mismatched constellations inside my own head.

In the last few weeks, the lines between doing something because it’s the right thing to do and doing something because you feel like you have to has become somewhat blurred. It’s never easy to try and detangle your thoughts after months of justifying the pressure that’s been placed on you and actually deciding whether it’s right or wrong. Anyone knows that trying to comprehend the thoughts that are disorganised and misplaced somewhere within the cells of your mind is like trying to detangle sewing cotton after it’s been stretched and rolled into a ball… It feels impossible. But when you look a little closer at the factors that has caused the tangling, the reasons as to why this started then things start to make a little sense.

I’m writing this mainly to get my own thoughts out there. To be able to write and be heard so that people in the same predicament or a similar situation actually takes a step back and sees it for what it really is. You can want to do something, but it may not be the right thing to do. Feeling forced or being guilted into doing something is only going to end badly and what you’re currently feeling will only ever worsen. Take time to realise what the consequences will be: will you be happy if you go through with it? will it makes things worse? will it make things better? do you want to do it, or do you feel like you have to?

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Sunday, February 28th, 2016.

Having someone to genuinely open up to is a terrifying experience. How much information is too much information? Is it even safe to tell them what goes on inside your head with the complete trust that they won’t judge or treat you any differently? It’s a question that’s plagued me, and eventually plagued my relationships for many years. I’ve either told too much or too little and I find it hard to find the balance to keep things flowing.

This year has been an entirely new experience for me as a whole. I entered 2016 with my head hanging over the toilet with the worst hangover I’ve ever experienced. I thought to myself “hey, it’s a new year, time for things to turn around!” but I’ve eventually come to worry and stress about things that I pushed to the back of my mind long ago. It’s almost a annual occurance for this to happen – every now and then I can’t help but begin to wonder where I went wrong. There’s only so many times you can talk to a silent journal with your black ink before you realise your biggest mistake might have been taking on everything alone.

Skip back to 2008. By this point, I had complete confidence that my former childhood problems would vanish the more I drowned them in nicotine and alcohol. By the end of 2009 after what could only be described as my own wrongful making, I sacrificed what would have been most of my young adult years pretending I was older than what I was. When I realised that my friends were taken from me by force, my life had gone 100mph without me noticing that I had been dragged into adulthood without my consent, I bailed as soon as I managed to release the chains. I lived the way I wanted to for a good couple of months before again, I was turned into something I shouldn’t have been. I finished 2015 and entered into the new 2016 wondering where I went wrong at every turn. Why was I always placed into a situation that affected me mentally, that dragged me down into the pits of hell where I gradually burned every fibre of hope of happiness that I owned.

It doesn’t take long to realise the naivity you’ve experienced over the years. Always wishing things would be better – being told they will be better. Even when you tell yourself that you can and will walk away when it gets too much, you can’t. You’ve been sucked too deep into a vortex and the only way out is the legendary difficulty maze with a raging Capra Demon at the end. It almost seems impossible the more you try and fail, eventually accepting that this is it now. I’m a quick learner, but I’ll never get the hang of dealing with unpredictability. I’ll never fully be able to cope with the realisation of my vulnerability. The real problem is, is it’s practically impossible for me to be comfortable with opening up, without feeling guilty and allowing others to help guide me back to safety.

In every post I write, I try and remind my readers – the ones who stumble across these disorganised string of words laced together with punctuation – that they’re worth something. It’s because I know that it’s far too easy for others to bring you down, and it’s even easier for the words to implant themselves into your head where the only course of action feels like surgery to remove the tumour of self-loathing to be removed. With enough thought, self-relaxation and a reminder that without you, someone, somewhere will never experience what you and you only can give them. There’s something about everyone that makes them special, but it takes the right person to see that and appreciate it properly.

Edit: I probably wont keep this on here for long. I just needed to vent. I’m tired of being stuck inside my own head.

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Negativity can turn into Positivity with enough persistance.

It’s not often I get to say that I’m happy. Even less often I get to say that I’m in some sort of happiness spell where things generally seem to be going okay. Currently, I feel like I’m in that spell and it’s refreshing after spending months of battling everything and everyone – for what seemed like no reason. The best part of it, is that I can say I’m currently comfortable in my own little private world, and yeah, there might be stress induced by work and looming deadlines, sleepless nights and exhausting days but I’m okay with that, finally. It’s nice knowing that things might be taking a 180 degree turn and heading uphill. Or at least staying maintained while I gear myself up for the climb.

It’s time like this that positivity generally hits me. People suffering from the decreasing moods over months knows that it’s too easy to fall into a state of negativity. Constantly battling your own voices inside your head that tells you it will never get better. It’s easy to believe those voices too and you’ll probably end up in a deeper ditch than you started off by listening to them. But here’s the kicker, with enough persistence to carry on, it can and will get better. I tell you this with confidence. As a person who dips up and down quite frequently, I can tell you that no matter what you’re going through – whether seemingly insignificant (although I’ve mentioned this before, never ever ever think your problems are insignificant, even if you’re crying over spilt milk) or whether it’s life altering – it will get better. Never give up, because giving up means giving in, and giving in means it’s over and you’ve succumbed to the voices that plagued you.

In the next couple of days, I intend to write a little step-by-step guide that helped me, and will hopefully help you, dear reader, into finding out yourself. Into finding out what you can do to improve your current situation. I never want you to feel alone, and I promise you, for as long as I’m around, you never will be. My email and my twitter are there for a reason – I’m here to listen. I’m frequently told that people are too scared to email or tweet me about things in case I don’t reply or that I’m too busy, but I promise you, I’ll never be too busy. You all mean the world to me, and for the amount of times you lovely people have helped me, I want to be here to help you.

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My life in video games.

For anyone that was around loitering my blog and twitter last summer, you’d know that I was completely addicted, almost obsessed with FFXIV. It was the last game that’s captured me in that way. By “in that way” I mean, the excitement to log on and play, the friendships formed, the what-would-probably-be-annoying-but-isn’t-annoying fate grinded in Costa Del Sol where (on a ps3) was so laggy that things would eventually disappear and people would move to the next fate before you even knew it existed. It was hell, but my lord, it was fun. I cannot tell you how high my happiness levels raised when my pugilist – I mean, Monk – turned to level 50 and strutted around in his badass gear. I was the heart of the party, literally. I wore that tag with pride.

I bring this up because over the last couple of months, I haven’t been able to fully bring myself to indulge in a game. And even when I’ve wanted to, it’s been too exhausting. It’s upsetting, mostly. For something that has always given me solace and raised my happiness, it’s sad feeling as if there’s none around that will genuinely make me feel that way again. I mean, Dark Souls is hella fun, but it’s not exactly… exciting. It’s more of a I-want-to-hang-myself-if-I-die-again kind of game. I can’t come home and enjoy a nice session of dodge, roll, slash, roll, roll, roll, roll, slash, dodge, get smacked, roll, roll, roll, estus flask, slash after a long day of work. This isn’t me saying it’s a bad game, it’s a bloody brilliant game, but it’s not relaxing and I don’t get the thrills that I’ve found previously.

The only games I have even been able to bring myself to play are games that I’ve played time and time before. Bayonetta, The Legend Of Zelda, Pokemon, Metal Gear Solid, Borderlands… I know what I’m doing so there’s no new scenery, excitement or anticipation. Don’t get me wrong, the replay value on these games are amazing – if you’re not playing on an old xBox 360 arcade that doesn’t support HDMI and your eyes just end up bleeding from the inside out trying to read the perk traits. Ugh, why oh why did I give away my elite? I took for granted how visually appealing the HD looked and thought it would be okay to switch back. I was wrong. What makes this worse, is that the nostalgic games I’ve been interested in lately are too bugged up on the ps3 to play, so much so that it’s rage inducing in itself. Damn you, Bethesda!

I write this, here, on alaskaar, to let the readers that followed the blog following my gaming journeys that I’ve hit a wall. That writing about old journeys on modern consoles isn’t working out and for the time being, whilst my life rushes around me at a full one hundred and sixty mph, I’ll probably be staying inactive for awhile. But, if you have any suggestions for either the ps3, xbox 360, xbox one, wii u, 3ds and pretty much any console aside the ps4 (one day, my sweet white ps4, you will be mine) then hit me up. I’ll be game if you guys are interested.

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