“Are we human?”

 

Gloomy. Sadness. Depression. No matter what word you label it with, it’s a hard place to be in no matter what the situation. True that people may be feeling these emotions over completely different things, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting you. You are an individual. You will experience things differently. You will have your own coping methods. No one can tell you what to do or how to deal with your own personal demons, no matter how much advice you seek from those around you. The harsh reality is, is you must figure things out on your own to really sit back at the end of the day and know what’s happened has been resolved. Your own step is the only step that will matter on the road to your eventual mental happiness – it isn’t going to be handed to you on a silver platter and served to you by silver spoon. You are strong and you can pull yourself out of this.

I’ve had my fair share of demons to battle during 2015. Perhaps its the reason for my little to non-existent motivation to write. My lack of inspiration in life. The complete disappearance of any kind of natural pleasure in simple daily activities. I sought after advice and I followed closely but I could never feel accomplished. I never felt like I truly resolved my overwhelming problematic voices whispering in my ear that I was nothing. I got rid of the problems that affected everyone else. For example, my moods. My changing moods, panic attacks and outburst of tears got… “irritating,” as they say. So I tried to eradicate them and in response I faked my happiness. I pretended I was okay until I was alone in my own four walls with nothing and no one but myself. It’s like having to wear a mask to cover up your true self. It crippled me. Paralyzed me until I realised that the phrase “just be happy” was my problem.

People will tell you time and time again to “just be happy.” They repeat it over and over again, as if it’s the easiest thing to do. They’ll say they’ve been through it – they may even say they’ve been through worse – but they are NOT you. They coped with it, or they are coping with it in their own way and it’s only fair to let yourself as an individual find yourself and what will help you. You like reading a book? Go ahead. Take that time and read for endless hours until your head is filled with elegant vocabulary and the voices that whisper are characters. You like films? Watch them. Watch their sequels. Watch what came before them. Shape your dreams into what you want and go where you want to be. You don’t have to live by someone else’s standards of “just be happy.” Being comfortable isn’t wearing a mask, its knowing you. And knowing you is the first real step to shaping your own mental stability.

Something I want to point out though… You are not alone. You can talk and you can rant. You can post a blog post to get what it is off your chest. Whether you read this or you quickly scroll past, just know that I am here for you. You are beautiful and you are special to me. No matter who you are or if I have spoken with you or not. Your happiness matters to me, and if you’re not happy then I’m here to wish you all the luck in finding that happiness. This is our journey, and I’ll walk it hand in hand with each and every one of you.

 

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Loneliness isn’t the problem, but finding the right help is.

Despite the rising awareness of mental health conditions, they are still disregarded and swept under the rug more times than not. There are still people wondering what to do and who to turn to when all else has failed – and failing can be a part of the end problem that’s ultimately tearing you up. No person should be expected – or belittled – for opening up to their emotions and feelings and admitting what’s really going on. Admitting to what feels like a weakness is already a difficult task, and admitting that weakness out loud shouldn’t feel like a joke. A person shouldn’t be made to feel ridiculous, dramatic, hopeless and they should not be made to feel alone. A person goes through an abundance of stages and emotions before they finally pluck up the courage to talk about it – so why should they feel that in the end, it was the worst idea they could have done?

There’s the exaggerated happiness, the forcing yourself and others around you to believe that happy and fine. The indecisive motivation telling you that you need to get up and do something, but you could wait a day or two to get that done. Locking yourself away at certain times just because it all gets too much and therefore snapping when someone tries to invade your space. The easily irritated, pushing the best of people in your life away. Dealing with it in your own way, writing to a blank piece of paper that cannot talk, that will soak up the sink and leave you yet again stranded in your own mind. Seeing friends but feeling guilty when you feel more of a downer than a bundle of joy. You get the point, a person has to deal with a lot of things before they finally open their mouth as a plea for help and being shut down at the end of it – to be disregarded as if a family had just reconsidered their decision to adopt a puppy. It’s only confirming what they already thought; that they have to go through this alone otherwise they deal with the consequences of being looked down upon, to be told that they’re over dramatic. It doesn’t just stop because it was an inconvenience for someone, we’ll just go back to pretending that we’re okay just so they can’t get ridiculed again.

People feel this way for different reasons, and it’s unfair to be judged about your own situation compared to someone else’s. Oh, I see, you’ve been through worse, so that’s why I cannot feel the way I do and ask for your help because you deem me unworthy of such compassion? Well shucks, here’s a medal and a one-way ticket to “Get-So-Far-Away-From-Me.” It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling the way you do because you’ve had a string of unfortunate events happen to you throughout your life or if you’re recently going through a rough patch, you are entitled to feel the way you do and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

There are still too many of us finding the way out in all the wrong places. Loneliness isn’t the problem, but finding the right help is.

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